Saturday, June 18, 2016

Me and Dad


I like stories that come full circle, stories I read and stories I write. I particularly like it when life and love intersect in a satisfying way.This blog is about the two men in my life I'll always love. My biological father and the father of my children.

I wasted too many years being angry at my father. That’s what we did back then. Blamed our parents for everything that went wrong with our lives. My rant went like this: Would it have killed him to show some affection? An occasional hug would have been nice. And, did he have to be so judgmental? Yeah, I was stubborn (a chip off the old block) and a bit rebellious, but isn't every kid?

Then, older and wiser, I realized, without him, I’d have never become a happily married woman with three sons and a published author. Happily, he lived to see the first two events. The last occurred after his death but Dad definitely sowed the seeds that resulted in my writing career. 

My earliest memory is not of “I love you” endlessly repeated each time we hung up the phone or parted company. No, I remember being four year’s old, sitting on my father’s lap as he read to me. Alice In Wonderland was his favorite and mine as well. Actually, anything he chose to read to me was my favorite because I had his undivided attention. Books were the glue that held our family together. 

Next comes the happily married part. My childhood longing to be loved by my father led me to seek out a man who shared his qualities. At age eighteen (yes, I know eighteen’s much too young) I met my future husband who not only embodied the best characteristics of my father, but gave and continues to bless me with the unconditional love I’d been seeking all my life. And, trust me, I‘m not that easy to love.

Though my father wasn’t warm and fuzzy, he gave me gifts I’ll always cherish. An inquiring mind. A thirst for knowledge. The love of books. My only regret is that I never thanked him for those gifts. So, Dad, are you listening? Without you, I'd have travelled a far different path. Your grateful daughter thanks you from the bottom of her heart. May you rest in peace.


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